Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
