I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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