so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
