C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
