Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
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we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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