Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
