Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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