I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
