just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
