okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
