I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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