Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
