Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
