I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
