I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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