he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize