I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
