so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
