Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
