if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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