you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
