And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
