What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
