Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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