last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
