I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You don't make any sense
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