Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
