Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
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thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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