The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize