p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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