im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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