she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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