oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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