You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
