im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
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I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
All the doctor said was why
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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