I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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