this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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