How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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