Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
