It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
