There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
