im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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