the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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