My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
