Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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