i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
