You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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