4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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