yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
