hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
