i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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