he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
