Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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