Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i dont even know how to be here
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
