Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
