You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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