Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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