You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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