Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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