We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
