You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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