girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
